Wind Chill

We’ve reached the wind chill season when the temperatures are below 50-degrees and the TV meteorologists (“A meteor fell from the sky, hit me in the head, and so I’m qualified to predict the weather.”) begin to factor in the wind chill in their forecasts. “Well, Phil, it should get down to 30 degrees tonight, but the winds should be brisk at about 10 miles per hour, so it will feel closer to a chilly 20 degrees.” What they don’t say is that it only feels that cold if you’re standing out in a field in the nude. Wind chill is a bogus measurement meant to place fear in the hearts of the public and boost the ratings of the local TV station. Fact is it’s only as cold as it is. If you’re stupid enough to go outside and stand in a field in 30-degree temperatures with nothing on, you deserve to freeze as many body parts as you can. The only forecast in the cold of winter should be: “Stay indoors with the heat on, a fire if you’ve got it, and if you have to go out, dress for it. . . . And soup is always good.”