Giving and Getting

This time of year one inevitably hears over and over the well-worn proverb derived from Acts 20:35 that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” This comes from Jesus, who as far as the record shows, received gold, incense, and myrrh at his birth from the wise men but didn’t give anything to anyone else except for parables and sermons and on one occasion a propagation of bread and fish to a multitude. I’ve always found the notion of it being better to give than to receive to be an elegant paradox. For one thing, if someone gives you something, and you accept it, that explicitly makes you a lesser person than the “blessed” giver. You would be better to refuse the gift: “Oh no you don’t, I’m not falling into that trap!” Moreover, shouldn’t the purpose of giving be to provide pleasure or gratification or comfort or whatever to the receiver? But if it’s better to give than to receive then the very act is by definition selfish: “Look what a good person I am by giving you this!” And what happens if the receiver doesn’t care all that much about the gift? – “Do you have the receipt for this? Can I return it?” – What does that do to the giver’s “blessed” status? No, it’s probably best to just shop smart, try to find things your friends and relatives need, want, or could use – and keep the receipts. And disregard altogether who’s the better for the giving or the getting.