Parla inglese?

In preparation for a trip to Italy’s Amalfi coast, I’ve been spending some time trying to learn the basics of the language, as least to be able to say “I don’t speak Italian” (Non parlo italiano) and “Do you speak English?” (Parla inglese?). On previous trips to Italy, these are the two phrases that have been the most useful, and I’ve picked them up again fairly quickly, though I wouldn’t say fluently. I’m sure whatever utterance I spit out attempting those two phrases will convey the idea that I don’t speak Italian and I hope the listener speaks at least a rudimentary English. And the fact that I make the effort to say I don’t speak Italian in Italian (however ironic) at least shows a sense of respect to those I’m imposing on.

But I’ve also been trying to go beyond expressing my obvious inability to speak or understand Italian. I’m sure it would be magnanimous of me to ask for directions in the language of the natives (Dov’e la stazione? or Come ci si arriva?), or order at a restaurant (Sono pronto perordinare or Vorrei una bottiglia di vino rosso), or navigate public transportation (Quest autobus va a Ravello? or Penso di essermi perso). But what if such conversation starters result in conversations? I’d be lost after my initial query or request, not understanding directions or costs or follow-up questions and immediately have to retreat to my stand-by, Non parlo italiano, no doubt to be met with the disconcerted Allora perche diavolo l’hai detto in italiano? No, it’s probably best to just begin with Parla inglese? And if the answer is Non, there’s always mumbling and pointing. That works surprisingly often.