AARP Wants Me To Die

AARP wants me to die. First, they want me to renew my membership with a “special offer” of five years for only $49 – “Less than 82 cents each month!” Then they want me to die. Or to be more charitable, they’re betting that I’m going to die before the five years are up. At least that’s the way I read the offer: If I buy in for five years, it’s only a deal if I live for the full five years. If I die after, say, three years (and certainly if I die after one or two years), they get an extra two (or three or four) years of membership dues (yes, discounted, but still) that I wouldn’t have otherwise bought. I don’t know if it’s sucker bet or not. I’m not expecting to die in the next five years. But who is?

I joined AARP when I turned 50, 13 years ago, only for the discounts on hotels, museums, restaurants, and so forth. I didn’t particularly like the idea of joining a club for codgers. But I did like the discounts. And I suppose that’s the reason I’ll probably take this new bet and double-down on the next five years.