On Religion and the Afterlife

I don’t recall my ever being religious, or believing in god or heaven or hell. At least into my teen years, I attended church more or less regularly, but only because my parents didn’t offer the option of opting out. And what I remember most about church was playing tic-tac-toe on the programs (or whatever they’re called) in the balcony, and occasionally sneaking out to the post office across the parking lot to get a Coke from the vending machine. We did belong to a conservative Christian church, and I was baptized, fully dunked in a pool, wearing a robe, the minister going through whatever ritual it was that attended the ceremony. But I wasn’t placing any spiritual significance in the event. I was more happy to surreptitiously partake in a quantity of the grape juice used as the “wine” during communion while I was waiting alone in the wings backstage. I wasn’t a believer, but I wasn’t a doubter either. Ambivalent probably best describes my faith through my teen years.

No doubt it was in college that my active non-belief formed, if only because I took courses in philosophy, comparative religion, and Eastern culture (not to mention all the literature courses I took as an English major). It became clear that the whole basis of religion – all religions – rests on the fact and the fear of death. Religion offers answers to the question of what happens when we die. And the answers are wrapped around rules about how to behave: play by the rules, and your eternal afterlife will be positive (even heavenly); break the rules, and . . . well, you don’t want that (it’s going to be hell). I’ve never had a problem imagining how my afterlife is going to be, because I’ve already experienced it – before I was born. It was – as I’m sure was yours– an eternal void of mental or corporal sense. And I don’t see that my infinite future post-life should be any different from my infinite past pre-life.

I’m happy enough to be here, though I have my up and down days. And I try to do and be good, though not from any proscribed rules, but because I think we owe it to those who have come before and to those who will come after to maintain this miracle of life by not fucking it up. Also, it just makes things easier for us all while we’re stuck here.