For Sale Sign Prank of 1966

In the summer of 1966, between my junior and senior years in high school, Gary Matassarin, Chris Christian, and I spent the night with our friend Foster Smith at I guess what might be called a slumber party. Foster’s mother fixed us something for dinner (I can’t remember what), we watched TV until it went off the air (yes, children, there were only three TV channels at the time, and they all went off the air between 11:00 p.m. and midnight), and then played card games. Sometime in the middle of the night we decided to go out in Foster’s car (a large Chevy or Buick as I recall), take For Sale signs from in front of dozens of houses on the east side of Wichita, load them in the trunk, and then replant them en masse in the front yard of Sally White’s parents’ house. Her father spent most of the next day, a Saturday, phoning realtors and grilling Sally about who the perpetrators might be. Of course, it wasn’t hard for her to figure it out, and we were required to return all of the signs to their proper homes. In the end, I think Mr. White actually seemed to appreciate our little in-the-dark-of-the-night prank.

I recall this youthful indiscretion in light of one of Mitt Romney’s high school (well, prep school) pranks that was reported in yesterday’s Washington Post:  About a year before my own transgression, the young Mitt led of a group of like-minded cohorts to chase down and tackle a classmate, who was effeminate (the term back then was faggot, not gay), had bleached his hair blonde and grown it long over one eye, and just generally made Mitt uncomfortable (“He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!” he’s remembered saying at the time). So as the hapless, pinned classmate cried and screamed for help, Mitt wielded a pair of scissors and proceeded to cut his offending hair.

Of course there are two major differences between our two “pranks” (as Mitt refers to his actions). First, mine was actually a prank – Mitt’s was assault. And if it happened today, it would be prosecuted as a hate crime. Second, Mitt can’t recall the event at all. Apparently he participated in any number of such “pranks” and “hijinks” back in those days, so asking him to remember any one of them would be too much to ask. But he does say that if he did it, and if anyone was hurt by it, then he’s sorry. He sure is. It begs credulity that Romney can’t recall this incident. He’s either lying, or he lacks empathy and shame. “What a stupid, senseless, idiotic thing to do,” one of his accomplices now says. (He remembers.) “It was a hack job. It was vicious,” another recalls. (He also remembers.)

In a way I envy Romney. He’s able to simply wipe out all recollection of any embarrassing past events. Meanwhile, I’ll probably go to my grave haunted by the memory of the For Sale sign prank of ‘66.